I have to go

I don’t think I can play this game.

What if I lose at the end? What if I fall at the end?

Are you gonna catch me?! Are you gonna be there with me?!

I know you appreciate the experience. I know you said it’s appealing but I’m new to this. Believe or not , I’m trying. I’m trying to live a little. I’m trying to live in the present. I’m trying to stop overthinking. But I’m going to be honest. It’s HARD. Harder than I thougt.

I asked for advice before I got into this. Everybody thought that it was a good idea to keep going, even through the risk . I thought I was ready too. But I can’t. The deepe I am in , the more I feel insecure, the more I feel uncertain, the more I question myself.

Don’t I deserve better? Don’t I deserve stability, security? The unknown is killing me slowly.

I thought I could follow you , support you, cheer for you , but the stakes are too high for me . I wish you nothing but the best but I have to go, fly with my own wings and do what’s best for me .