advice · Confession · Wild Thoughts

If dating is a soup, then I am a spork

Am I the only one who thinks that dating is the most difficult and confusing thing in the world? It’s crazy how the movies made it seem so easy!! You meet someone, realize that you have common interests, decide to go out together, get to know each other , and hopefully get into a relationship in the future…. Right?! This is how we all expect it to happen. Love at first sight kinda-thing. Well, in reality or at least in my reality it is a whole different story.

Jokes aside, I always compare my dating life to a telenovela. (Ask my friends and they’ll tell you). You meet the characters, get familiar with them, things are going smoothly, then an unexpected event changes the course of the story. You are then introduced to the villains, and the side characters. One event always leads to another. Always some drama, always something that catches you by surprise…

If you want to picture it , think Jane the Virgin …. In other words, a rocky road, full of bumps and turns, with traffic lights simultaneously indicating red and green.

Anyways, enough with the metaphors and the comparisons. I really want to take a step back and try to name the issues of why this experience is such an hassle for me, because at the end of the day I am 100% sure that I am not the only one in that perky situation.

First of all, I always say that I want to meet people “organically”. I tried that dating app situation ( Don’t start judging me, cuz we have all tried it 🙄) and it was a big fiasco, so we’re back to the traditional way. You know, you go out and somebody buys you a drink as a conversation starter. You grocery shopping and somebody bumped into you, and here you have a conversation…. (like the movie right🤔) .

But, here’s the deal, I live in Florida where half the men want to look like Kodak Black ( as you can imagine, not my favorite look) or don’t know how to start a conversation- which already is a turnoff because I am a talker- and the other half is already taken, and I most definitely don’t mess with people’s men, so that’s a big NoNo on my list.

Second of all, who should I go for ? I definitely can’t date somebody younger than me. I don’t run a day care. Guys my age (or my generation )usually think about “having fun only”. You know, they’ll slide in your dm, think they’re “sleek”, and then go to the next when they’re bored. Commitment level: 0%.

I am not even going to mention men in their 30’s and up, because I also don’t run a retirement home.🙄

Third of all, Personality, character, maturity level. I’m sure that I’m not the only one thinking that most men now miss what we all call common sense. Going back to what I was saying before, a lot of men now think that certain behaviors are “okay” as they say, and those actions don’t really mesh well with me . Let me give you some examples: knowing their priorities, leading a girl on, not putting names on thing as an excuse for them to leave when they feel like it, wanting to impress their peers by doing stupid stuff, thinking that money and gifts solve everything and so on…

So,you’re probably thinking that I am looking for a Ken doll, someone perfect. However, I always pride myself in being someone who knows exactly what she is looking for in a significant other, from the mental down to the physique, so I am definitely not gonna settle for half just for the hype of it when I know that can have it all!

However, I need to stop renting about all the things that men do completely wrong and probably make a little retrospection on myself-I like to be fair 😇 or not 😉

Which makes me wonder a little. Am I too demanding ? too needy ? too controlling? Too clingy? too nice ? Too dreamy? Too sentimental? Too eager for love ?….

Stay tuned for the next dramatic episode of the Adventures of Annie where all of that will be discussed. 😉

Wild Thoughts

I Want HIM…

What do I want? What do I want to do? Do I want to make a move, or look from afar. Do I want to take actions or let these feelings destroy me?

“I don’t know” says my heart, but my mind keeps reminding me that I am lying to myself.

Yes my mind is right, I am lying. Deep down I know…

I know that I want Him. I know that I want Him to be part of my life. We probably not meant for each other. Maybe a smile is the closest attention that I can get, but I still want Him. No one else but Him.

I want us to be intimate. I want us to break the rules, forget about the world, and live. Live just for each other.

I want to create memories. I want him to mark my life. I want him to be in my life. I want him to BE my life .

Yes, this is what I want.

Around him, I lose control. Around him, I want to be perfect. For him, I want to be ready and available.

Yes, I’m ready… Ready to put my ego, feelings, and values aside. Just to share a moment, just for a dance, just for a kiss, just to be in his world. Just. Us. Two

This is not Love. Probably,

Curiosity or,

Fierceness or,

Desire or,

Lust.

Maybe all of the above. Can’t decide!

All I know is that. I. Want. Him.